Tuesday, February 5, 2008

It could be worse

I hate hate hate when someone tells me that. My mom does all the time. & I've come to realize that moms are almost always right. And she was right on this one too. I was having the worst week two weeks ago. We were having to move, (stupid military) and Gary was going to be taking his biggest test to date on the day we were moving. The stress was piling on. So it didn't help when Friday came we all started coming down with colds. Then Niels decided to get up at 3 in the morning and stay up until six two nights in a row. So Saturday night at about 5 am I had had it. I decided to tell Heavenly Father that I was done. It was too much. I was starting to feel sick, I hated Fayetteville, I hated my husbands career path, I hated eveything and I couldn't do it anymore. I was begging him to help me, to make something change, to please just make Niels go to sleep- anything. I got my answer in the morning. After getting about two more hours of sleep I woke up feeling a hundred times worse, not being able to breath and my throat hurt. My head and neck were aching (where's a chiropractor when you need one?). I was super sick. Great I thought, this is perfect how am I supposed to do anything. As the day wore on and I became even more sick but still having to take care of the three kids and all the moving plans, the spirit let me have it- "see" he said "it could be worse" I had my kick in the pants moment. And I was humbled. Yes it could be worse, always.

as a side note I wasn't sure I wanted to post this after writing it because I know a lot of you are having extremely harder lives/trials right now- harder than I could possibly imagine. But in the end I decided to share it because I have been complaining a lot to some of you (Mom, Jana, Nic, Wendy - and the list goes on) but because of this horrible/wonderful experience I've made a change and hopefully you won't dread calling me any more.

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