Saturday, December 18, 2010

best Christmas EVER!!

This morning Kail found a present by our front door for me.  The note said:

to JaNae- Open now or wait until Christmas.  You are so loved.
Merry Christmas. From some of Santa's elves.

The kids wanted to open it right away.  I wanted to wait.  My sister came over and hung out and we talked about what it might be & who it might be from.  The kids asked a hundred more times to open it but I held strong.  Well that is until the kids went to bed.  Then I decided the note said I could open it now, and I'm terrible at waiting, so I did.  

And you wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face!

A Blendtec Blender!! People you do not even know!  I have been wanting one of these for forever!
I was dying, DY-ing!!
I had to call my sister right away.  She was so mad I didn't open it when she was there.  I'm seriously still in shock, and pretty sure the "elves" are going to show up any minute to tell me it was a mistake and take it back.  
 I'm DY---ing!

You know with Gary being gone (this will be our first Christmas apart)  I was kind of expecting my life to be insane, with me ending up hating everything.  But it hasn't been.  I've been uncharacteristically calm.  
It's been a wonderful season so far and this just makes it so much more.

so Thank You Thank You elves!!
(even though I don't deserve it)

now how & to who am I going to pay this forward...


(Oh and I have to tell you that Kail thinks I must be something special because after he read the note he said "Santa's elves know you? wow"  and that was present enough)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

crying & laughing

So I'm pretty sure I've finally lost it.  At least I'm sure that's what it means when reading this blog post I was laughing then crying then laughing then crying & crying & crying.  Yes, crazy, I'm almost positive.
While this woman has undoubtedly gone through so much more than me I could relate so much to wanting to, some days, wear a sign.  Mine would say:  

Please understand, I have 3 kids, my husband is half way around the world risking his life for our freedoms and today the responsibility is too much.

And there are days when I get a tad judgmental.  I know it's shocking, I'm not perfect, sorry for the disappointment :)  I need to remember that others would love to wear a sign too. 
While I was reading it I kept thinking- where are her visiting & home teachers?  It's helped me to remember how important that calling is.  What a great opportunity we have as visiting teachers to go into sisters homes and be able to see what help, spoken or unspoken, is needed. 

I do have to say though that I have been so blessed by such wonderful friends, family & neighbors who are always so willing to help out in every way possible.  Some days I want to wear a sign that says:

thank you for understanding why my house is a mess, and it's 5 o'clock and I haven't showered. Thank you for letting me talk your ear off. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder. Thank you for letting my son practically live at your house.  But thank you most of all for the comfort I receive from knowing that if I really really needed you, you would be there.

It's a must read. And if you happen to laugh and cry simultaneously, if you could let me know.  It might mean I'm not as crazy as I think.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

love from afghanistan

The husband sent more photos, he didn't explain any of them so I guess we will all wait on pins and needles until he does :)
He is no longer bored.  And if you can't guess what that means then I don't know what to tell you.  He calls home around two to three times a week mostly before he goes out on an op.  With things getting more exciting he sounds a lot happier.  

Now if we could all keep world peace in our prayers especially around the 38th parallel then I wouldn't have to worry about where the husband will be going when he gets home.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

beautiful all around

Photos by Jonathan Canlas

Aren't these beautiful?  And that brooch bouquet- ahh- LOVE!  These photo's are of a girl in my ward.  Miss Tracy.  She is the music teacher in nursery and does the best job.  Not only is she beautiful on the outside but even more so on the inside.  
And my Niels has the Biggest crush on her.
If you ever have the chance, ask her how she met and fell in love with her husband. 

You can view more of her wedding here

side notes
1.  may I please go back and redo my wedding?
2. one day i'm going to order a bunch of prints from Mr Canlas, 
specifically his temple photos

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

alice dancing under the gallows

** Update!**   I found it again!  this is a must watch!  also here are some links to a couple other videos and the link to their official page.

Alice The Film Dancing Under The Gallows

This is one of the most beautiful, tragic, wonderful, amazing, extraordinary stories I've ever heard.
It has changed my life and it's only the trailer for the movie that's coming out soon!
It makes me even more excited to have Kail & Lily starting piano lessons (they are loving it)

I adore this woman!  If there was anyway I could have only a fraction of her attitude I would have the happiest life!
 "all the complaining 'this is so terrible' it's not that terrible"
I wish I had the words to explain how I feel after watching this.
The world will be a lot less beautiful when she leaves it.

maybe I should be taking lessons too

if you want to receive a copy of this film in early 2011 email 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


proof of the husband's new existence
he's doing well- taking lots of classes :) ha ha!
we miss him LOTS! but are so happy for him

there's just something about a man in uniform that makes me swoon ;)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

knit 1 for our soldiers

photo's from purl soho

It's that time of the year, time to warm up our knitting needles.  I love autumn!

I'm going to be knitting another scarf this year- maybe two, hopefully two- for our soldiers. One for my soldier and one for another.  I was speaking with the husband yesterday and he says it's starting to get cold in his part of the middle east. So if you would like to join me again this year here are the details:

> I'm donating through Operation Gratitude
> I would love to collect the scarves and send them all off together, if you'd like to do that you can contact me at:
> All scarves or hats must be in by the beginning of December
> The size restrictions for the scarves (for shipping purposes) are 5-7" across & 48-50" long- no fringe please
 >Simple is good.  
 >Only subtle colors please, tans, browns, blacks, grey and olives, dark blue for the Air force
 >No acrylic, rayon or other artificial yarns. It must be 100% wool. Acrylic melts when it burns & when it gets wet, it gets cold and nasty. Wool, even when wet, keeps the body warmth in. I'm told that the Cascade 220 superwash is warm, soft and washable. There are other washable wools too.
>They would like all handmade items to include a little note including an email or street address so the soldiers may respond if they have time.  A brief note is very important & will make your gift even more special

here is a link to Operation Gratitudes info on this
here is a link for a good scarf pattern (this is the one I used last year, super simple but you can use whatever you'd like)
*I hate that pattern, hate it.  It takes forever and uses a ton of yarn. I'll find a new one*
here is a link for some men's hats (one day I'll learn how)

There are other things that they are in need of you can go here to find out more

This is such a great way to show these men and women that we the American people haven't forgotten about them and their huge sacrifice for us and the people of Afghanistan.

the husband & Niels
taken the night before the husband left

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

just because

just because this has got to be the cutest photo
doesn't it just make you want to call your best friend?

found @ ink & vine leaves, original somewhere here

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Niels just turned into a little boy tonight
he's no longer my baby :(

doing his best risky business

Friday, September 17, 2010

if summer were a dessert

If summer were a dessert it would be warm and chocolate and gooey. You would be able to smell it well before the waiter brings it out. When it finally arrives at your table you would shed your cardigan and say "finally" out loud with a sigh. Everyone at your table nods & "hmmmm's" in agreement. Well everyone except Tiburon she's turned her nose up at the whole event and  prefers her gazpacho. But that's alright not everyone enjoys the way summer warms you from the inside out as you spoon it over your tongue.  Summer should be shared to truly enjoy it so everyone at your table shifts their summer to the right so you can have a taste of each others; a warm peach cobbler, fresh from the oven chocolate chip cookies, apple pie with a crumble top and lemon bars- the kind that reminds you of your piano teacher & how much you'd rather be outside with your friends than in her home playing "alouette". But thats what summer does, as you take each bite it reminds you of all the summers you've had before & somehow forgotten. After a few more tastes of different summers you return to yours. You and your friends all agree- summer would go well with lots of things: an outdoor wedding, a family barbecue, a picnic with your neighbors- what does summer not sound good with? After sitting and enjoying summer a while longer you take the last few bites and start feeling overly full. Summer no longer tastes as good as those first few bites. In fact now you are pretty much sick of it. You can't wait for the waiter to take summer away and bring your check so you can hurry home to sit in your backyard, wrap yourself in a warm blanket, start in on a new knitting project & watch the sun set, 
while drinking a tall cool glass of autumn.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

family photos

Here are a bunch of our photo's from our session with Heather Mildenstein.
She did such a great job!
enjoy ;)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

bragging rights

The husband is always saying I don't paint him in such good light on this blog of mine.  Well today I am undoing this with one broad stroke.

Ladies, my husband is tougher than yours.

And here's the proof:
The Discovery Channel is running a series called 'Surviving the Cut' giving "viewers unprecedented access inside the military's special forces training programs". They've done shows on the SFAS (the husband did this) & BUDS which the husband and I have watched. In this new program they will be showing US Army Rangers, the US Army Special Forces Scuba School(the husband was going to do this but couldn't because of his eye),  the USAF Pararescue School, Marine Force Recon, Navy EOD, &   Marine Sniper School(the husband went through this school just weeks after we were married- it is not pretty).

Wednesdays at 10. You know you want to watch, to see how awesome the husband is ;)

hat tip- blackfive milblog (link fixed)

Friday, August 20, 2010

two weeks

It's been two weeks since the husband left.  And a little less than two weeks since he's been in the field.  It's gone by faster than I thought.  I'm grateful he left when he did.  Because it only gave me a week before the start of school, soccer & all sorts of craziness that comes with this time of year.  

But that first week, well, that was the hardest week I've ever had out of anytime he's ever gone away.  It was this week times ten.  Any mention or thought of where he is & my stomach did somersaults.  It was like my insides were having their own personal gymnastics meet.  It was getting irritating.  I thought "this can not possibly go on the whole time!"  Luckily it's calming down.

Although I have been avoiding the car.  At home I'm kept unaware of anything except cleaning up after kids, listening to kids, keeping track of kids, organizing kids, kids etc.  Also I get to distract myself with books, blogs & the lovely, coma inducing television.  But the car is when the kids, if I have them & after a few moments of doing their best to annoy each other, are silent, lost in their own thoughts.  And that's when I get trapped by mine, all the horrible things that could happen & all the things I shouldn't be thinking about and then my insides are playing double dutch & I can't hold back the tears.

It's funny because I was a car wreck the week before the husband came home for his visit. While he was home I was good.  Then the week after I was a 40 car pile up.  I couldn't believe it. Before all this I had myself convinced I was wonder woman, by my own doing.  But I realize now a lot of my strength comes from him. (which really does nothing for my super human image)

I've gotten a few emails from him and just yesterday he called for the first time.  The 2nd email I got (the first one only reading - I'M HERE!) made me laugh out loud. Not that it was funny or anything but because you could feel the excitement and happiness he was feeling.  It makes me smile to think of him over there, working his tail off, hardly getting any sleep, in the hot hot arid heat, knowing he is completely and absolutely in his element.  This is what he has been waiting and training for his whole life!

And while I sit at home and do my best to make it through another day.  I am able to smile because I know he is having the time of his life.  He is doing what he was born to do.  And then because I love him so much & I know he loves me the same, I am strong again- I am wonder woman. 

photo by Heather Mildenstein of the coterie blog
(ps favorite photo of all time!)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

on my mind

The husband is coming home soon for a short visit before he is shipped off to lands unknown to live out his dreams of being the greatest american hero ;)  While he is here we are getting family photos taken.  And I am stressed!  I seriously have been losing sleep over this.  I want everything to be so perfect; do I have the best shoes? is Lily's dress too dressy? should I cut Niels' hair? why doesn't money grow on trees so I can buy that Emerson Made flower I want?  do we have too many patterns going on? & etc.  
Yesterday at 3 am tossing and turning thinking about all this I was convinced I had gone insane, they are family photo's for heaven's sake.  I kept telling myself to remember last years thrown together last minute photo & it's one of my favorites.  Why couldn't I just chill?

Then today it came to me
while getting good mom advice
it didn't hit me like a ton of bricks more like a slow snowfall

this could be our last 

our last family photo, our last family time, our last hug, our last kiss.

The husband and I have had many long talks about this, mostly dominated by joking & sarcasm.  And of course when I talk about it I laugh and tease and joke to the shock & horror of whom ever I am talking to.  But that's how I've dealt with this cloud over my head that was attached the minute the husband slipped the ring on my finger.

And now, who knows why (pms?) the tears won't stop.
I feel incredibly silly about it.  I mean the husband is still around, and the statistics say he's more likely to be killed on the freeway than where he's going.  

but still..
it happens & I think I'm a little scared

Saturday, July 17, 2010

little lovelies

You know what I should not do?  I should not go looking for a lunch box for Kail online.  I should stick with brown paper bags & be happy about them.  But I do go looking because I can't keep throwing paper bags in the trash & causing my inner environmentalist to freak out. And when I do look, I do not find a cool lunch box instead I find lots of other cool little kid things.  Blast! if only money grew on trees.
here are some of my latest finds:

        bookhou alphabet                                        Miller Goodman Playshapes          

basically all the books at Present & Correct

Kaiku super wagon & push pull

and you better believe I'm buying this Bednest (even if I have to fly to London to get it!) when I have my next little one.  I can not tell you how much I love my arms reach co-sleeper, but I always hated how I couldn't wash the padding on it. plus how beautiful is this one?  ahh dying!

and there are a hundred other things too. I need to set up a tumblr blog for all of them.

Monday, July 12, 2010

fun with kail & music

Kail is a self proclaimed music snob.
okay well I proclaimed him a music snob because he knows what he likes & what he doesn't & he's pretty sure that if he doesn't like it "they shouldn't play it, ever"
here are two new songs that he belts out at the top of his lungs
("when doesn't he belt?" you ask?  "touche")

I liked this one better as a non music video, because sometimes bad music video's get in the way

the airborne toxic event "sometime around midnight"

Love this bands drummer!

neon trees "animal" (viral version)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

4th of

our 4th of July '10

Is it too much to ask for one good photo?
-yes, yes it is

Lily did not want to wear that dress (that I made) with those shorts, 
it's amazing what 1$ will buy you ;)

Jorgensen annual Cul-de-sac of FIRE!!

Kail doing his best to get in the way

Hugo & Kail

proof that the Husband was here

The (good looking) Saxtons

the Enforcer                                                       the trouble makers

it was unseasonably cold

with the 4th being on Sunday this year we were able to celebrate 3 days.
Saturday we celebrated with the Jorgensens
Sunday we celebrated with the ward
Monday we celebrated with the Hansens
and yes that is a lighter in Kail's hand.  My dad let him do everything.  He loved every minute!

This weekend we were lucky enough to have the husband home.  Niels was so excited and wouldn't leave his side for anything. We can't wait until the next visit!