I don't hate the military
I just hate that my husband wants to be apart of it.
For completely selfish reasons.
I just want my husband focused on my family.
Not on yours, no offense.
You have a great family.
I want you to be safe.
I want you to have freedoms.
I'd like everyone in the world to have that.
But I'm tired of my husband being one of the people making it possible.
I want him at my kids soccer games.
I want him to tuck my kids in bed more.
To have him read more books.
And change more diapers.
Eat more dinners at home.
Be my husband again.
I'm not supposed to feel this way.
I am a military wife after all.
We're supposed to be unselfish.
I'm tired of being those things.
I'm tired of answering the question of how do I do it.
Because I don't.
I cry a lot.
But not in front of the kids.
I get mad a lot.
In front of the kids.
I'm working on that.
But I'll still pretend.
To be unselfish.
For the love I have for my kids.
(I just have to add that even though I can't be mad about this deployment, no I really can't, I love that my sister-in-laws are mad for me- it makes me smile)